What is it about the month of August that causes it to get noisy in my head? Maybe you can relate to a noisy head, or maybe you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about. For as long as I can remember, my life has operated on a school calendar more than a calendar year. First I was a student myself from ages 5-22, then I was a teacher, and then a mother of school-aged children. Life in the ministry also seems to follow a school calendar. The fall is always a big season after the summer lull.
So for me, it’s always a month of planning. Planning the year- the pace, the activities, what I will focus on, what I will drop not only for myself, but for my family. It’s my “New Year’s”. It is a time I begin to feel the need to bring order to the chaos that overtook the summer. Don’t get me wrong, I love the impromptu summer days, but after a while, I sense my need for structure and order emerging. The urge to get my house back in order, spring clean, end my love affair with ice cream, bring back structure to my day, my routines, etc. Not to mention the financial fun that comes with back to school- uniforms, shoes, supplies, backpacks, lunch boxes, new glasses, school fees, field trip fees, etc, etc, etc. It is also often a time I feel myself leaving my comfort zone. Each year I ask God what He wants to do with me. What are my priorities? What area do you want me to serve, grow, lead, and move forward in? What areas do you want me to let go of? And it never fails, He answers. But first, I have to clear my noisy head.
When I try to make these decisions on my own, it gets really noisy, cluttered, & overwhelming. The thoughts race, the anxiety rises, the feeling of stress lurk about. I begin to wonder if I can really do the things He’s been leading me towards. I get the urge to back out, and return to my little safe comfort zone. You know, the place where you don’t really move forward, take risks, try new things, or grow. AAAHHH! It feels like too much!
BUT, nothing can quiet my mind and my spirit like The Lord. When I stop trying to figure it all out and hop off the treadmill for a while, there He is, patiently waiting for me. Yesterday He rode in the car with me. Today, He’s on the porch with me. Tomorrow, He will have breakfast with me. Oh how He wants to infuse every area of our lives. He longs for us to notice His presence. Acknowledge Him. Trust Him. Spend time with Him.
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength” Isaiah 30:15
Then suddenly, the fall schedule looks doable. It looks clear. I realize I can’t do this alone, but with God, I can. I can take on new challenges. I can say no to others, guilt free. I can lead my children and others, because I have let God lead me.
When it’s noisy in my head, I can’t hear God. So I must steal away for quiet moments with My Lord and let Him bring order to chaos, silence to screams, and courage to fears.
Only Jesus can do that.
Can you relate to a noisy head?