The Great Twinkie Rebellion of 2009

A good blogger would have their New Year’s post up on January 1st.  OOPS!   Look at me waiting until January 4th—and here’s why.

I have a lot of different things floating around in my head- some very exciting things, some mundane things, and some unclear, unfinished thoughts.  I’ve thought about what I would focus on and therefore post for several days now, but wasn’t clear on what God would have me to say.  One of my desires for this blog is to post things that are meaningful and encouraging, so I didn’t want to just half way write something.  I have been reading the story of Balaam in Numbers 22-24.  Numbers is often thought of as the most boring book in the Bible, because it contains a lot of recordings of names and lineages and who “begat” who’s.  But, it contains a story I find very interesting- and includes a talking donkey!  It’s very Shrekkish:)   I have been gleaning much from it, but one thing that stood out to me was Balaam making the statement “God put a message in my mouth”.  So my prayer has been for God to put a message in my mouth, before I open it!  So, here we go……

I am a firm believer in setting goals, growing, improving, and moving forward in life.  I don’t ever want to stay stuck or complacent. I have no problem with New Year’s Resolutions.  “Resolution” comes from the word “resolve”.  Some meanings I found were as follows:

-to deal with successfully

-to find an answer to

-to make clear or understandable

-to reach a firm decision about

-to declare or decide

The problem comes when what resolve to do or be, relies on us and our own human efforts.  BUT, when our resolve relies on God who made every cell in our body and knows things about us we haven’t even figured out yet, amazing transformations happen.  The kind that stick.  The kind that affect others.  The kind that propel further changes rather than fizzling out.

I have some God-sized goals for this year, including the completion of a book I am working on and some very exciting women’s ministry opportunities, goals I cannot meet without the help of God.  But these are not the focus of my resolutions.  They are what I pray will be the result of what God is doing in me. How do we rely on God?  We can start by seeking HIm on what it really is we’re resolving ourselves to do/be.  We can give Him the opportunity to speak through prayer, fasting, worship, church, and personal relationship with Him.  We can invite Him into our daily living.  This month, I am focusing on Him through fasting.

Every year  since 2008, I do some sort of fast in the month of January as a way to dedicate my year to Him.  It helps me get focused, get quiet, and listen.  There are MANY ways to fast, and MANY things that come from it.  My favorite so far is that it reveals.  It reveals things God wants to do, it reveals things in me that need to change, and it reveals Who He is at deeper levels.  This year I am doing the  Daniel fast.  The last time I did that- I got pregnant with my beautiful 3 year old Josie- against many odds!  I believe God knew I had a desire in my heart for her. I’m not suggesting fasting is a magic lamp to get what you want- not at all.  But it does reveal and address what is in your heart.   I am also not implying that I am somehow spiritually awesome because of fasting.  I just want to share what God has done for me to encourage you.   Let me tell you a story about how “not awesome” I am.   5 months after my brother died of melanoma, I attempted to do the Daniel Fast.  My desire was to connect with God and see what He had to say to me.  A few days into it (I think around 5 or 6)  I became so angry.  I had no idea the fast was going to trigger thoughts of how we had fasted for my brother’s healing and how it “hadn’t worked”.  I had no idea I had been holding this anger in my heart.  I knew I had been confused, but not angry.  So, in my anger, I was going to “show God”.  I was going to break my fast.  I wasn’t going to break it with something healthy either.  Not an apple, not a banana, not a peanutbutter sandwich.  I was going to REALLY show Him and eat something bad for me.  So I went to the pantry, made a quick scan, and grabbed a twinkie.  I took it upstairs ran my bath water and ate it while I cried my eyes out.    I didn’t eat the twinkie because of a sugar craving or lapse in will power.  I ate the twinkie because I was mad, and I wanted to show God that I was mad.  Yep, I sure showed Him!  Haha!  I can laugh about that, b/c it is quite funny that I thought eating a twinkie was really going to show God just how angry I was.  But guess what?  He used it!   I didn’t finish my fast that year (the Daniel fast is 21 days of fruit, veggies, and water only).  But, I still feel it was a very successful fast.  Why?  Because God used it to reveal something that was in my heart that He wanted to speak to, deal with, free me from, and heal.  And, He did. He got me to a point of reckless honesty so that we could become even closer.  He didn’t chastise me for breaking my fast, He comforted me, loved on me, and reminded me that He loved my brother even more than I did.  He is so faithful.  I love that He can handle all of our questions, feelings, craziness, and ugliness…….and be crazy about us anyways!

He SO wants to reveal Himself to you and accomplish things through you.  There are many ways to fast, you can fast for a day, drink liquids only, fast sugar, fast caffeine, fast shopping, you can even fast facebook- yikes:)  My challenge for you, is just to give God the opportunity to speak to you- let’s let HIM tell US what we need to resolve to do/be.  Let’s let HIM be our goal setter.  What will it look like for God’s people (YOU and ME)  to listen closely, and follow quickly.

Read the story of Balaam and his donkey in Numbers 22 in a version that reads well to you.  (I like the New Living Translation because it spells things out quite simply and uses language I relate to)  Think about why he wasn’t paying attention to the fact that his faithful donkey stopped on the path.  What could have happened because he wasn’t paying attention and was doing his own thing.  Yet later, in chapter 24, it is said that he became  a man whose eyes see clearly, one who hears the words of God, who sees vision from the Almighty, who has knowledge from the Most High and bows down with eyes wide open.

Let’s dedicate this year to our Lord.  Let’s let HIM lead us.  If He’s already leading you toward something or there is something obvious that needs to change- don’t do it alone.  Invite Jesus to be the leader of your resolve.  We can’t do it on our own.  We need Him.

As God reveals things to you, you may need some help with “how to’s”.  I highly recommend this book:  “I Dare You to Change” by Bil Cornelius.  It is biblically based and filled with wonderful tools and action plans to help you realize the dreams God has for your life.  Anyone with unmet goals will be equipped and encouraged!

Blessings on 2012.  May we all hear the voice of God, and follow HIm quickly.  May we all be men and women whose eyes see clearly and who hear the words of God.  And may we all find the beauty in an angrily eaten twinkie:)