I came across this list on the blog of Perry Noble. It was originally written by Pastor Clayton King. Ladies, this list gives us great insight as to how to pray for our men, encourage and lift them up, and affirm our love, resect, and thankfulness for them. Because we communicate differently and look through different lenses so often, we can miss the intent of their heart- which is almost always to meet our needs and see us happy. They listen and watch more than we think, and take their cues from us as to how they are doing as our husband. What are our facial expressions, tones of voice, words, and actions telling them most often? Are we mostly telling them they are doing poorly and we are not satisfied? Are we implying that nothing is good enough- no matter what they do? Are we communicating that we think they are an idiot? We may be doing this without even meaning to….a snide remark here, a rolling of the eyes there, nagging “suggestions” dispersed everywhere…..ouch! Nobody’s perfect and we’ve all been guilty at times.
So, Let’s not forget that we aren’t the only ones with feelings in our marriage. Whether you are married to an introvert, an extrovert, quiet man, or verbally expressive man- he needs to know that his efforts are noticed, they are appreciated, and they matter. He needs to know that he is your man, and he rocks your world! He needs to know that you believe in him! and there’s more:
Women, you may think that your man is confident, strong, and sure of himself. But you’d be surprised what he would tell you if he felt like he could be completely honest. So I want to tell you on his behalf. Here are 10 things that your man may have thought at some point, or may be feeling right now.
1. I am really insecure about lots of things, but especially about how I am doing as your husband.
2. I worry that you are not happy with me and that one day you will leave me.
3. I’m scared that our kids may not turn out the way we hoped they would.
4. I never feel like I have enough time for you, our family, and work. I feel like everyone wants something from me.
5. The reason I work so hard is to provide you and our family a life of security, joy, and safety, and to make you happy.
6. I often feel like you are not attracted to me.
7. I feel inadequate to be everything you ever wanted from a husband.
8. I’m afraid to tell you that I feel depressed, anxious, and sad, and that I compare myself to other husbands and fathers.
9. Your approval and affection is the one real thing in this life that gives me confidence in myself.
10. If you believe in me, I am unstoppable.